Amelie’s Birth Story

My second daughter is here, and we are officially a family of four. 🙂

Amelie Rose Rothstein. Pronounced Ah-muh-lee. “Meli” for short.

She was 8 lbs 12 oz and flew out 80 minutes after the first contraction.

She also got my hair…a full head of very thick, very dark hair. Maybe the old wives tales about reflux during pregnancy are true!

I mean, look at this hair…

(If you would like to read the birth story of my first daughter, you can do so here.)

When it comes to my most recent birth, I’m still putting the pieces together since it was so quick and intense.

My midwife sent me her birth notes which have helped a ton with organizing the timeline.

(For animal-based pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and motherhood resources, check out my Pregnancy hub.)

Heart & Soil Films featured our story in their mini-documentary, Nourished, which spotlights animal-based pregnancies. Click on the above image to watch it on YouTube.

A knowing

I’ll start by saying this…

Even before Amelie was in my womb, I had a strong feeling (more like a “knowing”) that she would be birthed unassisted with no one present but my husband.

I kept this “knowing” sacred and didn’t tell a soul…not even my husband.

It felt right to do this for some reason, but it did bring about anticipatory anxiety/fear because I was holding it alone.

So I prepared my birth supplies like I would be birthing unassisted, and that helped me feel more confident going into birth.

The days before

In the days leading up to birth, I started to feel off/weird. I wondered if it was close, but also didn’t want to believe so (I was about 38.5 weeks) since I could have gone weeks longer.

After I posted on Instagram about it being rough to handle the end of pregnancy, I went through a process of grieving not being able to expect when I would give birth (while being so *over* pregnancy and wanting to be done).

I wonder if that opened up the portal because I did end up giving birth shortly after this mourning period.

(Side note: Farrah, my first daughter, was born at 38+3, and Amelie at 38+4…so almost identical gestations!)

I have been a “one poop per day during pregnancy” person and sometimes would skip a day.

The day before I went into labor, I went poop three times and the latter two were diarrhea. I also just felt weird/off/irritable.

I had these impulses to take pictures of my belly because it felt like it would be going away soon, and oddly enough, as much as I do not enjoy pregnancy, I started to feel grief that it would be ending shortly.

The day before birth, I also noticed my belly had really dropped.

^This was the day before. I had so much room below my diaphragm – it felt foreign!

^This was the night before. My belly looked/felt so low to me!

The day of

The morning of the day of Amelie’s birth, I kept telling my husband that I felt weird. He responded, “maybe she’s coming today, today feels like a good day for it to happen.”

(Side note: I was born on a Sunday and both of my girls were too! My dad had a feeling Amelie would be born on a Sunday, so he guessed either the 18th or the 25th. She was born on the 18th!)

My belly still felt really low, and I just felt super irritable and emotional all day long. I also found a “yoni grape” (pictured below) when I was making dinner, and it just felt like something was looming.

And…despite having sleep issues for weeks (months/years, really, but especially so in those final weeks), I slept really good the two nights before birth. Like 12+ hours in bed laying or sleeping (which was *very* unusual for me)

I thought this was weird. I wonder if my body was banking sleep to help with birth.

^The yoni grape!

The first contraction

In the hours before birth, I felt *so* irritable. It was really hard to do mom stuff because I felt a strong desire to just go away and be alone.

If I remember correctly, I cried while laying down for sleep with Farrah. It felt like so much effort to do even the smallest thing, and I just felt so overwhelmed.

Once Farrah fell asleep, I started to drift off, and as I was as drifting off, I felt a sensation in my abdomen that made my eyes shoot wide open. This was about 5 minutes after she fell asleep.

“That was pretty strong,” I thought. I had been having on and off contractions in the weeks prior, but nothing crazy. Some were stronger than others, but none really alerted me up until that point.

Something told me to check the time. It was 9:15pm. Something also told me to open my contractions app and start timing. The next one was at 9:25 and felt bigger than the last. It was 2.5 minutes long.

I knew I wasn’t going to go back to sleep, so I decided to get up. Once I stood up, I felt a gush. I checked by reaching down and feeling my crotch area, and when I pulled my hand out, it was covered in water.

“Oh shit, this is happening,” I thought. I suddenly felt a foreign heaviness in my pelvis.

I woke my husband up (who had also just fallen asleep) and told him, “hey babe, I think she’s coming.” He shot up and said, “are you serious!?” I told him yes and what happened, and that he could stay and rest and that I’d keep him updated.

He stayed in bed, and I changed and went out front to our living room.

Contractions intensified

I texted my midwife and told her that I had two big contractions, that I think my water was starting to break, and that I was feeling lots of heaviness in my butt.

She marked this as the start of active labor in her birth notes. It was 9:31.

She asked me if my water fully broke. I said no. She suggested that we wait to see what happens and I agreed.

I had a couple more contractions, then decided to wipe to check if anything else was going on down there. I saw a bunch of clear goo. I texted her and told her I thought I was losing my mucus plug.

It was 9:47 at this point, so about 30 minutes had went by since the first contraction.

Contractions were getting intense…each one felt like 10x the last, and they seemed to be on top of each other.

I sent my midwife a screenshot of my contractions. They were 1-2 minutes long at this point (some were upwards of 3) and 4-5 minutes apart.

She asked me what I wanted to do and if I wanted her to come.

I told her, “let’s wait a little bit longer but I think she is coming soon.”

Something felt different

I was audible from basically the start of contractions.

My husband heard me so he came out shortly after I initially told him I thought it was happening.

He got our birth checklist (I had plans to take multiple things throughout labor) and began to look at it.

He was asking me simple questions about it, like if he should start it or wait (we both had no idea how fast things were actually happening – it was pretty disorienting).

I kept telling him, “hold on, I can’t talk.” He asked me to let me know when I could talk.

It seemed like a while would go past (this part was a blur), then he’d check in again and ask if I could talk. I kept saying no.

This confused me and concerned me. “Why can’t I talk already?,” I thought, “it hasn’t even been an hour – am I being dramatic? Is this going to be really hard? Can I even do this?”

My husband was also frustrated (stemming from fear/confusion, I think) on why I couldn’t talk at all.

He was overwhelmed with the checklist and how fast everything was manifesting, and feeling the pull to help him while in this state didn’t feel good at all.

I texted my midwife and told her I think she needed to come.

This was at 10:07 (she lives an hour away).

Side note about the checklist/what I took during labor/immediate postpartum:

My friend (IG: @samantharosewellness) made me a detailed plan for birth and postpartum. If you’re looking to take homeopathy to help support your labor and recovery, I highly recommend booking a consult with her.

I told her the things I was concerned about and she made me a custom plan based on my concerns…things like pain management, retained placenta, hemorrhage, tearing, healing, and postpartum emotions.

I purchased all of the remedies she suggested (there were multiple options for each category based on specific symptoms) and it made me feel so good to be able to tackle issues on my own if they arose. I also took some as a preventative/to be proactive, like a remedy for GBS as I didn’t test for it during pregnancy and a remedy for pain during labor.

Here are some pages from her plan. It was incredibly thorough and made me feel so confident to have! I crossed out the remedies as they are individually selected based on needs, and to also respect her work.

Here is the checklist I gave my husband. We didn’t get to everything due to how quick Amelie came, but we got most of it in.  Homeopathy is crossed out. “KITCHEN” and “CLOSET” were item locations.

Transition

This is when I really started to feel like I couldn’t do it, and that I didn’t want to.

I had a few very dark thoughts at this point – that I really didn’t want to be giving birth now, and that I wanted out somehow, but that there was no escape.

I felt like I was getting zero break from contractions, there was *so* much heaviness in my pelvis/butt, and the sensations were so uncomfortable (and actually painful this time, unlike last time).

I was pacing around the living room, and tried a few different positions in a panic.

No position felt good or provided relief.

I remembered this “I can’t do it” feeling last time and knew it to be transition.

Thing is, I had reached it so quickly this time, so I doubted myself. I was only about an hour in.

I still wondered if I had long to go, and told myself if that were the case, there would be no way that I’d make it.

(Funny thing – I had that same exact thought during transition last time.)

Pushing

My husband managed to make it through a decent part of the checklist.

Things were progressing so fast though, so he ran back to our room to the birth supply section to get chux pads. It was 10:25-10:30ish.

I randomly got the urge to take off my shorts, so I did.

I leaned over the couch and buried my head in the pillows. I felt the first push – it felt like a descent. There may have been one more push after, but this part is also a blur.

The next push was the most intense sensation I’ve probably ever felt in my life.

It felt like my entire body and being was opening (against my will, almost) and I remember wanting to resist it for a micro second, then something told me “no, allow, open.”

So I did, and I made the deepest guttural grunt I have ever heard myself make. It took my breath away, like I was bearing down into the center of the universe.

I felt the “ring of fire” and then her head emerge. I was in disbelief.

I screamed for my husband. He didn’t hear me, so I kept screaming for him. I think I screamed his name 3-4 times.

He finally heard me and ran out.

“Her head – (pause to breathe) – is OUT,” I said, in such a primal way. I can still hear and feel the tone now.

He got behind me and said, “okay, screw the rug, let’s do this.”

I knew she’d be born the next contraction. I sat there and waited.

It felt like 30-45 seconds went by. I felt a sensation, then boom.

Her body was out in one more push, with probably 5 minutes of total pushing (3-4 total pushes).

She fell to the floor, I picked her up, then I heard her cry. Instant relief.

She was born at 10:34pm, about 80 minutes from the first contraction.

Getting the placenta out

My husband kept repeating, “you’re amazing, you’re amazing” in such a warm, genuine, and awe-struck way…a way I had never heard him express before.

This felt so empowering.

A few minutes passed – this was a blur as we were both in shock.

I didn’t want to lay down because I wanted my placenta out.

So I kept trying to re-position and I had my husband help me with holding Amelie (this is probably my least favorite part of birth – when my placenta is still attached but baby is out).

We called our midwife and told her Amelie was born. She was still about 30 minutes out.

I told her I was trying to get the placenta out. I sent her a picture of the blood loss (it looked like so much blood to me, and hemorrhage is a fear of mine).

I asked her if it looked normal, and she said yes.

This made me feel better, but I still wanted my placenta out and to settle.

She told me there was no rush and to wait for a cramp, then to push. Don’t tug or force.

She was warm and confident throughout the entire experience, which especially helped during this part (the most stressful part for me).

I did check on Amelie intermittently, but my mama gut never alerted me to anything. She felt strong from birth, so I was never preoccupied with her health.

I was more stressed with me, potential hemorrhage, and just wanted my placenta out.

I kept trying to push but realized I didn’t have contractions/cramps, so I temporarily surrendered the pursuit.

I had my husband help me get a pillow and lay down, and I actually started to feel pretty relaxed, powerful, and content.

Some amount of minutes went by, then I popped my own bubble by suddenly remembering my placenta was still in. I started to get restless again.

I sat up in attempt to get it out, waited for a cramp, and as soon as I felt one, I pushed. Ker-plop – it came out.

This was about 30 minutes after birth, same as last time. I texted my midwife and she said “great” and that she was about 10 minutes out.

So I laid back down with Amelie to wait.

^One of the very few birth photos we got. This one was after the placenta was out.

^My placenta!

The aftermath

This was when everything started to settle in and I really began to feel the visceral shock.

I began to tremble and feel the stress response in my body. Even though the placenta was out, I was still concerned about hemorrhage.

My midwife arrived. What was also *super* cool was that my doula during my first birth came too, but as the backup midwife this time (since she is a midwife now).

It felt warm and great and like a full-circle moment to have her there.

They did all the checks. Amelie was strong and all looked good. She weighed 8 lbs 12 oz.

As for me, I surprisingly didn’t tear (aside from a little nick which my midwife said didn’t need repair and could even just be a little extension from my last tear).

My color and BP were good. And my bleeding still looked good.

I kept asking them every few minutes how my bleeding looked.

They reassured me it was fine, and even explained and showed me my uterus and it’s firmness and how that firmness was helping it contract and regulate bleeding.

Despite this, I still felt scared.

An attempt at a shower

I was still on the floor, and just wanted to settle in my final resting spot. Since I took a shower after my first daughter’s birth, for some reason, I thought I needed to take one this time.

My midwife asked me if I wanted a wipe down, but for some reason, I was adamant on a shower (even though my gut kind of felt like it was too much).

So I sort of rushed to get it over with, stood up, and walked quickly toward the shower.

Once I stood up, I immediately knew it would be too much, but rushed to finish since I had already committed (kind of my MO, unfortunately).

In the shower, I started to feel my hearing go out, and this made me panic.

I got out, hurriedly put on my diaper, and basically ran back to the couch.

I felt myself starting to gray out as I ran back, and as I laid on the couch, I was quite close to fainting.

Thankfully, I regulated quickly once I laid on the couch, but the experience sent me into a stress response.

It was just too much too fast, especially given the nature of my birth. Next time I’ll probably just opt for a wipe down. 🙂

Processing

After the near-fainting experience, I started to tremble like crazy and felt that like I wasn’t okay.  That maybe I got too depleted, or maybe I was hemorrhaging and they were missing it.

My midwife and prior doula were wonderful – talking me through it, validating me, and giving me warm embraces and foot massages.

I also took some homeopathy/Quinton minerals (both really seemed to help).

I began to feel small waves of relaxation, and while I still felt awful (stress response-wise), I knew my body was starting to regulate.

Some time passed. My midwife told me that they had completed everything, that both baby and me were healthy and checked all the boxes, and that they would head out whenever I felt comfortable.

I kept repeating to my midwife, “I’m okay, I’m okay, I’m okay” to which she warmly responded, “you have been okay the whole time.”

That statement felt like a big hug. I agreed and told her, “I just need to believe I’m okay.”

I knew I would eventually.

After hugs and goodbyes, they left.

Recovery

It took me a couple days to really feel like I was okay again, about two weeks to find some grounding, and about four weeks to get into waves of feeling like I was more than surviving.

I plan to share more on my recovery soon, but it’s been much better/faster this time!

I owe it to:

• regular, nutrient-dense meals (I eat round-the-clock)
• Quinton minerals (1+ per day, 5+ immediately after birth)
• homeopathy
• remaining horizontal/doing pretty much nothing for about two weeks after birth
• the amazing 24/7 help that I had (my mom and husband)

Also…

Having no stitches this time has been amazing! Everything felt restored down there after just a few days.

A few days post-birth, both my mom and my husband have said that my vagina didn’t look like I even gave birth. (I was really swollen last time, for 1 week+)

After pains were *horrible*, but they fizzled out after about three days…thank goodness.

A few other things

RRL and dates

A couple other silly things I wanted to share…

I planned to eat dates and drink red raspberry leaf tea throughout my second and third trimesters, just like I did last time. I thought they both helped me have a quick first labor, so I felt like I must have both this time to have another quick one.

But I was so sensitive this pregnancy, and every time I tried to consume either, they didn’t make me feel good. So I stopped. I probably had a total of 10 dates and 2-3 cups of tea the entire pregnancy.

I was really worried I’d have a long labor due to not being able to consume either. Funny what the mind tells you. Eventually I had to get to a point of surrender and tell myself my labor would be what it needed to be, and that maybe I didn’t need the dates or RRL.

In the event that they would have actually sped things up, I’m really glad I didn’t end up having either this pregnancy. 🙂

It was a beautiful lesson and showed me that my mind isn’t always right.

Weight gain

I was also concerned about gaining little weight.

I didn’t gain a pound until 22/23 weeks and my final weight gain was around 20 lbs (I gained 28 lbs with Farrah).

Being so stressed this pregnancy, I was concerned that maybe I had absorption issues and baby wasn’t getting enough nutrients.

I was also really restrictive with my diet and could barely take supplements.

I was so afraid that my lack of weight gain would = small, frail, sickly baby.

Since Amelie was nearly 9 lbs at birth, I can attest to the fact that maternal weight gain does not necessarily correlate with baby weight.

Or with health since she’s been thriving so far.

This was another thing that I was *really* in my head about that I did not need to be.

I am also already back to my pre-pregnancy weight, which feels kind of weird, but is also cool.

My midwife knew too!

One more really cool thing…

At our 2-day appointment, my midwife told me she had a feeling she wouldn’t be at my birth.

I asked her how long she felt this way, and her response was, “pretty much the whole time.”

I asked her why she thought that, and she said, “well, you had a fast first one, and I don’t know…sometimes you just have a feeling.”

This lined up with my “knowing” that Amelie would be freebirthed.

Things like this bring me such awe that it’s hard to describe in words.

It’s a reminder that the mystical part of life is there and very real.

It feels so comforting to me whenever I remember this. 🙂